Tuesday

Every mother that feels God-like love for her child has experienced the nightmare of losing him. On Tuesday afternoon, as I waited for the ambulance to arrive, I held Jameson in my arms and watched his body seizure--for 17 minutes with no relief-- wondering if he was going to come out of it.

Me, Matt and the boys had packed a day bag and were on our way over to see the rest of the Lohner family, at their condo on Ideal Beach. As we got to the parking lot, the camera case slid off my shoulder and hit Jameson's head on it's way down. Jameson became upset and I could see him beginning to hold his breath. He passed out, as he has done before, and I always instinctively pick him up and hold him. Only this time was different. He didn't wake up. As I held him, he started having a seizure. Panicked, I called 911.


By this point, the few guests there in the parking lot began to surround us asking what they could do to help. A kind man brought Jameson into his condo and covered his body with a blanket. After a couple more minutes I scooped him up in my arms and went outside to wait for the ambulance. Matt called John to come and help administer to him. Each minute that passed felt like an hour as his little body continued to convulse.

After fifteen minutes the ambulance finally arrived and loaded him onto the stretcher. John had just arrived. I asked the paramedic if they could give Jameson a blessing. His response startled me, "Do you need some oil?" He was LDS and had some oil there in the ambulance.

The paramedics continued to work on Jameson while Matt and John blessed him. I heard Matt say Jameson's name at the beginning, but that's all I heard over the sirens and commotion inside the ambulance.

Only one of us could ride in the ambulance, so Matt jumped in our car and followed the ambulance and I down the canyon. I rode up front with the driver, but I kept looking back to see if Jameson's body had stopped seizing. After 32 minutes he still hadn't stopped. The paramedics didn't have the supplies they needed for an IV, so they radioed into Logan to have an ambulance come and meet us in the canyon.

It was only the first 5 minutes of the ride that I was able to use my cell phone. I frantically called my mom, my dad, my mom's cell phone, but no-one picked up. I called Gavin. I choked through a brief account of what was going on, and asked him to say a prayer for Jameson--and to get a hold of Mom and Dad.

After we transferred into the Logan ambulance in the canyon, they injected him with Valium. It took several minutes, but finally Jameson's little body stopped seizing. It had been 45 minutes.

I tried calling Matt as we went down the canyon into Logan, but there was no cell service. Finally, as we came out of the canyon I was able to get through and leave Matt a message...that Jameson's seizure had finally stopped.

It was awful not being able to talk with Matt as I rode in the ambulance. My panic had dissipated, but I was still very frightened about the effects of the seizure. I couldn't stop my emotions. Jameson was still unconscience as they ran him into emergency.

In the emergency room Jameson seized two more times. After they gave him a dose of an anti- seizure medicine, his body finally relaxed--and stayed that way. The doctors at Logan Regional tried persuading me into keeping Jameson there, but after Matt and I-- and my dad talked it over we felt that he should be at Primary Children's Hospital.

With Jameson stabilized, we were taken by ambulance down to Primary Children's. My dad followed right behind us. At this point, Matt needed to drive back upto Bear Lake, pack our things, and pick up Caleb and Will---who had been with John and Diane's family.

My sweet Dad stayed by my side, with Jameson, until midnight that night when Matt arrived with the boys. It was so nice to have him there to help ask the right questions and to help keep me calm. I remember how his voice trembled when I spoke to him about Jameson, and he told me he was already in the car on his way up to the hospital to be with us. I love my dad. His innate response to drive up--an hour and a half--to be with us meant so much to me.

It had been nearly five hours since Jameson's seizure, and finally, while we were in an ER room at Primary Childrens', Jamson opened his eyes. He looked very drugged, but he mananged a smile, and a "Ba" (for ball). I hugged him and cried as I could see that he was able to respond to me.

Primary Childrens ran a CAT scan, an MRI, an EEG, an EKG, a spinal tap, blood test, and every other relative analysis. We stayed for almost three days. We spoke with three pediatricians, two pediatric neurologists and many other doctors who visited us to talk about Jameson's health. The conclusion was a bit inconclusive for me. I drilled each doctor with questions and hypothetical on things that could have caused the seizure (with some coaching from my dad). When the attending pediatrician told me that their team had concluded that it was really a combination of slight anemia, a fever that spiked(they were not sure if his fever was from his body seizing for 20 minutes--before they took his temp), and maybe some dehydration? It was hard for me to believe that my 13 month old baby had suffered a 45 minute seizure due to these catalysts.

As we checked out of the hospital on the 3rd day, we got a call from the attending pediatrician on our way home saying that they had found a bacteria called C-deficil in his stools, and he needed to be on an antibiotic. They still could not conclude that this bacteria would cause such a seizure...but maybe in a rare case.

More than three weeks have passed since this scare with Jameson, but my feelings are still very close to the surface. Today, Sunday August 12th, I found myself emotional as a friend past me in the hallway and told me that he and his little girls had heard of Jameson's trouble and had been praying for him. At a baby shower, the same thing happened: two friends had mentioned that they, and their kids, had been praying for Jameson while we were in the hospital. I'm so touched at the amount of concern and love that so many people around us felt for our family. I am thankful for each prayer that was offered in our behalf; I know that Heavenly Father listened and we were blessed because of it.

Jameson is back to his happy, sweet, playful self and is doing great. The hospital sent us home with what they term "rescue meds" should it ever happen again--to administer them and then call an ambulance.

I don't have all the answers I would like, but I feel at peace. The Lord continues to bless our family in so many ways, and for his intervention with Jameson, I will always be grateful.

It's 5:15am and Caleb and Will come bounding in Matt and I's room. Caleb has put together his Star Wars Lego ship...one that is marked with the age appropriateness of ages 8-12 years old. Caleb and I went on a little date to Wal-mart last night, where he picked out the Star Wars Lego ship that he had been saving for. He had saved nearly thirty dollars, and after putting aside three for tithing, I said that I could pitch in a little and help him get the one he really wanted.

He only had time to break open the parts and put a few together before it was time for bed...which he obviously could not handle, because he must have been up before 4am in order to finish it completely. So it's just after 5am and Caleb is holding the Star ship above my head, trying to get my attention. Matt being the more patient parent says, "cool buddy!" While I, a bit ticked-off at being awakened so early, have Caleb hand over the Lego ship and tell him that if he and Will do not go get back into bed that they will not be playing with it. As I take the boys upstairs to their room, the lights are on and there are the Star Fighter's spare parts scattered around the room. This kid amazes me; first of all that he would wake up in the middle of the night in order to finish it (no doubt his excitement got the best of him), and second, that he actually put it ALL together--with no help!

After going back to bed, and then waking up two hours later, I felt sorry that I had been so snappy. I tried to be extra peaches and cream when Caleb and Will came downstairs to get ready for church. We let them sleep until 8:45am. We missed sacrament meeting--actually, I made it just in time for the closing prayer...which I was assigned to give! Oh, the life of the Lohner family. Sometimes we are a bit fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants.

I am the Primary Chorister, which in the beginning used to cause me so much anxiety that I often felt vomiting pains before and during my time to lead the kids. Now, however, it is turning into one of my most favorite callings. Today I taught a new song for the program, "Love Is Spoken Here." Towards the end the kids split into their parts: girls first verse, boys second. As the boys sang about the Priesthood power, and I looked out at them sitting up tall in their dress shirts and Sunday suits, I got the chills and felt the spirit touch my heart. These kids are learning the gospel through music, and I feel grateful that the Lord is letting me be a part of this sweet process.

Oh, Caleb lost his first tooth tonight! He actually pulled it out himself with dental floss...that's our boy!