My Son is Eight

Caleb turns eight tomorrow. My son is growing up. Tonight he met with Bishop Haug for his baptismal interview. He looked so handsome in his white shirt and tie. As we approached the church doors, I reached over to hold his hand. He pulled his hand from my reach and with a smirk told me, "I'm too old for that Mom." I nearly cried. Where have the days gone? Or maybe it's the years that are slipping away.

For years women who have grown children have told me, "Enjoy these days, they will be over before you know it." And with a smile I have replied, "I know." But really, I don't know. As Caleb begins to pull away from me a bit--not too much now, but I can see a few changes, I begin thinking of the times, the days, that I have not cherished life with him. I think with each child I have been able to absorb the sweetest more deeply. Maybe it's because I know that I'm one closer to leaving that precious place of having a sweet baby.

I'm trying each day to cherish motherhood. This past summer, while in Utah, my eyes were open to the possibilities of losing one of mine--one of my children. I saw a sweet friend of mine from Austin who had just lost her precious three-year-old daughter, Sarah, to cancer. A few weeks later, as me and the boys were having dinner at my mom's house, just one street up from where we were, a sweet family lost there 4 year old, Cooper, to a tragic accident in the driveway. They are in my parent's ward. This beautiful family experienced a terribly tragic event that took one of their precious ones home to our Savior. My sweet friend had a few months to prepare to leave her little Sarah. My parent's neighbor didn't have any notice. I want to live each day with my children, having them know in every moment how much they are loved. What a goal! (Especially when you know what a stinker my little Jameson can be. :-)

It's funny how unimportant the daily grind really becomes juxtaposed to the thought of losing a child.

I'm so grateful. Grateful to be a mother. Grateful for the lessons I'm learning, and especially grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is real. I know these women who have lost little ones, have been recipients of the great healing power of the Atonement. How blessed I am to have the gospel.